Are you your own worst enemy?

In an earlier article, I talked about self-sabotage, self-criticism, and being one’s own worst enemy. I want to stay on this topic for a while, as it certainly resonates with me, and in speaking with my clients, I know it hits home with them as well. It is especially critical for job seekers to work on self-confidence and positive affirmation.

If you’re making a career change, wondering how to find a job, or simply working in a dead-end job, you’re probably beating yourself up for something or other. Are you far too critical of yourself? Well cut it out! If you are in the throes of self-criticism and personal negative speak, you’re doing yourself a true disservice.

Give yourself a break. You can do that by practicing self-care and building self-confidence. By this I mean:

Listen to what you are saying to yourself.

Is it good? Are you spending the vast majority of your day thinking negatively about yourself? Try this instead: Choose three specific times per day to say something positive about yourself. For example, while you’re brushing your teeth, making dinner, and when you’re getting ready for bed, treat yourself to a positive affirmation. Make it a habit and your inner monologue will get the hint.

Even if you’re conducting a search using job hunting sites, there’s no reason to stay in your pjs all day.

Get up and get ready for anything. Look great and you’ll feel great. You might even want to get a new outfit or hairstyle. Whatever it is – do it – you’ll feel better and you’ll get a much deserved ego boost.

Do you smile?

If not, do! No need to go overboard – just smile when you meet someone, when you’re traveling down a street, or especially if you are answering phone interview questions. You’ll look like you feel great and sound like you are happy with yourself. And well you should!


If you’ve got a friend or co-worker who just oozes confidence. Without being too obvious, study her every movement, listen to the way she speaks, and pay close attention to her personal presence. Model some her mannerisms and some of her behaviors. Don’t become your friend – just take on some of her more confident traits and see if you develop into a more confident you.

Take advantage of your strengths.

You know what you’re good at, so play to your strengths at every opportunity. If you’re good at something, enjoy. This is a sure fire way to build confidence.

Know your weaknesses and work on improving them.

Conduct a personal assessment and figure out what you need to work on. Set some goals, develop a plan, and focus on improving your weaknesses.

Be prepared for anything – especially if you are in a job search or planning a job search.

One of the most important strategies is getting yourself set for any situation; you’ll be able to meet any challenge that comes your way. By preparing for a job interview in advance, you’re able to sound less stilted. This is especially important because you want to sound polished and convey confidence – let your competition stumble over the tough interview questions. You’ll be ready.

Are you focused on the past?

Don’t dwell on the past – just learn from it. That is all you can ask of yourself. Ask yourself what purpose you are serving by lingering in the past. What can you do to get beyond the past?

Stay positive.

Always look at the “can do” side of things rather than the “can’t do”. Remember, you’ve accomplished much in your life already and you will absolutely accomplish even much more in the future.

Remain in charge of your thoughts – always.

If you are thinking negative thoughts, chances are, you’re probably asking yourself negative questions. Switch it up and ask questions with a more positive slant.

Be in control.

Manage every step of your career. Develop a career plan and move forward. Focus on your plan of action and you’ll be making progress – what’s better for your ego than that?

Do you have a sense that your career could be much more? Would you like to get more support so you can achieve amazing results? Do you want solutions to your career management challenges?

I hope you have much in the way of career success.